we're blogging at a bar
I looked at my own cervix.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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