I forgot how hot balto sounded
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize