2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
