it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize