Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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