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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

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• (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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• (707): View more from California

  I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

  (707): View more from California

  WOAH TOO HIGH

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  My apartment stinks of burning failure

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