1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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