if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
