i think i have herpe
just one?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
