make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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