is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
