thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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