So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
