There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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