Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
