My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm at about main and main street
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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