Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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