he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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