This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
