Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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