yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize