can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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