I'm going to jail i love you
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
