no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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