I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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