Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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