Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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