My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
