my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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