Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
