Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize