Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
