You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
