everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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