my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
