Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize