So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
