it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
