my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
