I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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