sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
