I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
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