I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
