You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
