I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize