Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize