kristin has been a bad kristin
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
