too bad you live with your parents still
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
