I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
