the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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