im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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