I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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