SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
