morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
