Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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