Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
