I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
