Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
