dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
