Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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