At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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