C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
