It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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