Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
