ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
