don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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