yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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