i was born a porn star she said
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
