I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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