THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
