I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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