You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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