Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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