is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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