I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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